Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

2010 February 5
by Specs

If you’ve never been to the gym, I wouldn’t place a bet on your cardiovascular health but I would tell you for sure you’ve missed on a real experience.

Here are some things I’ve observed over the years. Feel free to add your own observations.

  • People who come to hang around and do 10 minutes on this, 10 minutes on that will have perfectly co-ordinated clothes with matching headbands, wrist bands, leg warmers, socks and two types of shoes- one for standing around in the aerobics class… the other pair to stand on the treadmill and press random buttons.
  • The concept of sports undergarments still obviously doesn’t gel with most ladies. I overheard someone complaining to the instructor that its just too tight. ‘Erm,’ says the insructor, ‘ its supposed to be tight.’
  • My sister and I are both addicted to running. Of course we have people coming up to us and telling us we shouldn’t do it because it causes ‘problems’- we were headed to the lockers when we find something pink and rubbery on the floor… ‘what’s this?’ I say. ‘Oh, ‘ says A, ‘everyone check to see whose uterus just dropped out.’ And this  lady told us off for making fun of very serious matters.
  • The people serious about their workouts usually take less than an hour and they don’t bother with the people in the gym. Come -> change -> workout -> shower -> leave
  • Weight comparisons are a normal matter where the older ladies are concerned. ‘A’ is on a treadmill when the lady next to her asks her how much she weighs. A’s  a bit shocked but says, ‘165 pounds.’ ‘WHAAAT,’ screams the lady, ‘ I’m the same weight but look at me and look at how slim YOU are!’ A smiles a polite smile and doesn’t point out the obvious- she’s 5′8″ and the lady’s barely 5′2″
  • Newbies can be spotted a mile away because
    • Everything is color coordinated
    • They’ll take forever to change
    • They’ll check the readings on other people’s machines all the time. Please don’t do that, its intrusive.
    • They’ll grip the machine like its just about to shoot out from under them
    • They’ll definitely try inclined crunches AND the weights the first day. And the second one. They’ll only stop when the pain hits and they have to stay away for a week.

Fun times!