The Eid Opera

Scene:

A street in Islamabad

The Cast:

Don El Matto, a 10 year old.

Senor DaddyO, the 59 year old father.

Uncleo BasementO, aged 84.

Senorita Spectaccio, aged 22 elder sister to Don El Matto.

Don Bakrato, the gentleman goat.

Act 1, Scene I:

Don El Matto boasts to people on the street about the amazing speeds Don Bakrato can reach. Senorita Spectaccio launches into a plaintive aria ‘Don’ta doa thisa, via idiota!’ but Don El Matto takes it as an offense to his manhood. Children from every house in the street bring out their animals as the scene is set for the ultimate goat race.

 Senora Spectaccio continues to sing the aria in the background.

Scene II:

A passing car sets the bakras off. Most of the bakras are from villages… thus have a great fear of cars and run their muttony legs off. Don Bakrato, however, is a city bred goat and refuses to walk faster than a trot. In fact, he saunters leisurely down the road because gentlemen goats don’t run.

Don El Matto is humiliated beyond words and runs in to fling himself on his bed in a flood of tears. He gets up, looks out the window and shouts sings the heartbreaking ‘Perché il mio padre ha comprato questa capra?’ (Why has my father bought this goat?). The tone and the lyrics can melt the hardest of hearts and the audience appears moved. Some old ladies, young girls and non-Pakistani guys can be seen dabbing their eyes with their hankies. 

 

Senor DaddyO suddenly cuts across the song with the short and fast paced arietta ‘Domani, otterremo un’altra capra. Sarà veloce’  (We will get another bakra tomorrow that will be a 4 x 4 drive). The audience is hushed as the fast paced and furious song comes to an end.

 

Don El Matto wipes his tears. 

 

Scene III:

The new 4 x 4 bakra arrives amidst much excitement. Don El Matto has boasted about his size and the extras in the scene who play ‘children-on-the-street’ are hushed as they stare reverently at this 4 x 4 sleek black goat. It is fearsome. Indeed.

 

Don El Matto is about to take it out onto the street when his hand is arrested by a big hairy one…

 

*suspense music*

 

It is UncleO Basemento! He glares at Matt and suddenly launches into the song ‘Non giochi con loro. Le capre sono per il sacrificio’ (Do not play with these goats: they are for scarifice). Don El Matto blushes with shame. The goats are for sacrifice and must be given all the comfort he can give them…

 

Thus, when the evening before the big day arrives, he starts to sing the plaintive arietta ‘Voglio dormire con le capre’ (I want to sleep with the goats). Sernorita Spectaccio explains that he is taking the whole  ‘care’ thing too far but Don El Matto will not be budged.

 

At last, Senorita Spectaccio loses patience and physically hauls a kicking screaming Don El Matto off the scene to a background noise of clashing tambourines, clanging bass and breaking glasses.

 

*curtain*

 

So, what arias were you singing this Eid?