Enter Real Life: More ...

Carrying on from the last post, then…. more questions!

Mssnaz is the person who inspired me to start blogging… erm, anyone notice the similarity in names? Yes, its a derivative of hers!

… I suppose the REALLY obvious question is, how are you getting on with the in-laws?

Well, Mr Specs is the eldest sibling so as his wife, I get a bit of the same distance and respect that he does even though all of his siblings are older than me… It was a bit uncomfortable in the beginning to be addressed so formally when I’ve known the girls for a pretty long time and had a nice relationship with them, but now I’m seeing the sense in keeping things friendly yet a bit formal. Overall, they’ve been marvelous so far, Masha’Allah.

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One of the first bloggers I started to read way back when I only read 5 blogs, ‘Liya is an awfully sweet Canadian blogger who is an inspiration for me because she’s an awesome, dynamic teacher who makes me wish… almost… I could go back to school and be in her class.

What do you miss the most?

Well, I haven’t been living at the in-laws except for weekends and Mr Specs is 6000 kms away so its not a big difference from my old life. However, I do miss having a full night’s sleep without feeling guilty about ignoring the in-laws or the guy! And if we’re talking about the post-wedding phase, I miss Mr Specs. I really do. Though I have yet to admit it to him *wink*

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Ugly Duckling is my little brother… what with his girls, self praise and sheer awesomeness, he reminds me of Barney. He also has the dubious honor of being the only blogger I asked (arm-twisted?) into writing me a guest post. I know him in real life because he and my sister went to the same school… and I like this one enough to threaten, outside the cyber world, someone who insulted him. True story.

UD just asked Why still MISS specs? O_o To which I can only say… BECAUSE.

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Gaia is an Abu-Dhabian-American-Pakistani *catches breath* girl who is dynamic, well-educated and really sweet and normal even though she went to Princeton. She’s getting married in a couple of months and I wish her the best in life! *muah*

What’s changed the most from single life to married life?

To me, it was a big issue to adjust to the idea that even though we’re competing in life with guys, you suddenly hand over the reins of yours to someone who is, for the most part, no better qualified than you to handle it- all because he’s a guy. AlHamduLillah I ended up with someone who does not expect that of me but it took me a while to realize society still does. So if you have a decision e.g. studying further, that’s likely to draw objections, you just take him into confidence and tell people he is okay with it. That shuts them up for the most part. But truly, it was difficult to realize I need token approval before I can even as much as go out with friends. Though its a bit different when its just the two of you living alone… I know then I don’t even require a token ‘approval’ because he doesn’t mind …but when you’re out in society, you have to play by the rules. Its irritating.

And the shopping… I can no longer shop till I drop because I feel guilty about spending his money and if we’re together, he won’t let me pay. We had our first sulking episode over it (I did the sulking, haha)

Do you feel like a different person? I feel a bit scared because I’m still the same me. Wasn’t I supposed to be maturer and wiser and whatnot?

Are you decked out in make-up and jewelry every day? No! I didn’t even wear half the jewelery sets because Mr Specs refused to do the traditional ‘dinner’ circuits. And make-up, only the first 2 3 days is enough. I wore my normal office-style makeup the rest of the time- neutral lipstick and brown eyeliner (yes, that’s TMI)

Do you miss alone time? Privacy issues? Hmm…  if your husband is a comfortable person to be around, Insha’Allah, you start preferring his company or inclusion in whatever you’re doing and ‘me’ time isn’t the only relaxing time for you.

What’s it like to be a “wife” ? Not really different. You have a bit more responsibility like taking care whose house gets what present on Eid and which house to visit first and what to give to someone at their wedding- little stuff… but the ‘title’ takes longer. The first time Mr Specs was filling out a form for me, he asked, ‘Should I mark Ms. or Mrs.?’ and for a moment I was a bit :-S at the idea of being called Mrs. I mean, EW. It seems so …

Are you the happiest you’ve ever been in your whole entire life? Well, I am really happy about this whole relationship. But there are other factors in my family (not directly related to me) which kind of over-shadowed it all… but it is the best feeling in the world to have an understanding, kind (VERY IMPORTANT!), loving relationship.

P.S. Leave me your postal address in the comment- I’ll be sending a bill for this.

Okay, that’s enough for today- I’m starting to feel like one of those newspaper columnists who go all preachy and start doling out advice. Oh me Gah, I’m becoming a Mrs. :-O

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