Enter: Real Life… on what not to do

Here’s a list as per Saadat‘s query…

The comprehensive list of what new husbands should not do or say

  • Keep TOO in touch with current affairs and watch Geo News for an hour the first morning ‘You were putting on your make-up; I was getting bored’ is NOT an excuse. And yes, Geo, ARY and all news channels are now ‘officially’ banned *wink**glare*

  • Play Tetris on your phone when she’s talking to you. It isn’t really the Tetris that got to me as much as the 2 extra seconds put into ‘save and quit’ instead of ‘quit’ did. That you’ve been playing it for a year and have a super high score is NOT an excuse. Really.

  • If you’re helping her unpin her hair, you should listen to her and NOT start at the front just because those pins are easier to access… You’ll never manage to find all the pins at the back then and get poked in the eye with one 2 days later. True story.

  • Doubt her cooking skills

Girl: Who put the fruit in the freezer? Now that its thawed, its so mushy and difficult to slice properly…it doesn’t look decorative at all!!

Man: *contemplates dessert* Don’t worry, you’ll get better with time.

Girl: *glare* I AM GOOD. Thawed fruit doesn’t slice properly- it just falls apart.

Man: Oh. Yes. I thought you said… *voice trails off*

  • Tell her she looked ‘nice’ on the wedding day No, brides look beautiful. They don’t look NICE. Little girls with fairy wings for their 2nd birthday party look nice. Not brides.

  • Be ‘funny’ “I’ve seen her in the morning when she isn’t wearing makeup.” No, that comment is not funny at all. At ALL.

  • Be too truthful ‘So this is what your hair feels like without the conditioner. Ha ha. Er, why’re you looking at me like that, honey. Er, honey? Er …’
  • Bond with her family too much So much so that her brothers forget whose side they are on and she notices that the pictures of her wedding that Matt e-mailed her were labelled ‘*insert man’s name* wedding.jpg’ Sorry, did you hear that tinkle? That was my heart breaking.
  • Not get a hint ‘My hair looks awful’ is not to be replied with ‘Doesn’t matter, I still love you,’ it was supposed to be ‘No it doesn’t look awful.’ Guys just don’t get that they’re not supposed to AGREE when a girl is being self-critical… in fact, that’s the only time they’re allowed to disagree and will be given brownie points for it.
  • To keep your marriage brimming,
    With love in the loving cup,
    Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
    Whenever you’re right, shut up.

    ~Ogden Nash
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This entry was posted in nerds and jocks, personal, Q & A Specs, Specy, The Wedding. Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to Enter: Real Life… on what not to do

  1. Silvara says:

    LOL true words indeed.

  2. Saadat says:

    Okay, now I have an urge to go and ask Mr. Specs about his list of things that a new bride shouldn’t do.

    Because, really, Tetris is not something to be taken non-seriously. Seriously.

    And nobody can get a hint if he’s not given a hint at the first place. Just sayin’.

    By the way, Matt’s da man. As always.

    (Uncanny tidbit: The joke-of-the-day today from my mobile phone service was this: Q: What is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with one’s wife? A: Apologise. *sigh* )

    • Specs says:

      Haha, Saadat.
      And seriously, Tetris for a 3 hour old bride is a bit too much to bear!!
      I’m laughing at the joke- just what I quoted too, hehe. But hey, its not serious. Really. I let him win. When I feel like i.e. *halo*

      • H says:

        Ok, I like playing games tetris too so I was going to say ‘that game thing shouldn’t be a big deal’ until you mentioned that you were ‘a 3 hour old bride’.
        I’m a girl. Hence, INoLike.
        lol

  3. Salman says:

    haha so true indeed and i learned something from it aswell hehe :P
    now i am gonna take care of all these and dont let spoil my new marriage life :D

  4. Pingback: Enter: Real Life… on what not to do | Tea Break

  5. lol . Oh God so thats what i’ll be up against when i marry someone :S .

  6. No One says:

    HAhahaha @ Saadat’s joke…it’s true though…whenever he wins…I get mad…even though he’s right…and then he eventually apologizes…LOL

    I have to agree with you Specs, Tetris and looking nice, would bug me too…like…how I was always told…your cute…your cute….but of course…it has now been changed too…noo seriously…you look pretty…really pretty…

    LOL =)

    • Specs says:

      Dear Lord, mine has never apologized for winning. Oh maybe that’s because I’ve never let him win yet? Hmm, hehe, just kidding. But really, we don’t really fight. Just discuss. I would love a good one now and then but he’s too calm and mature to let it escalate. Frustrating, huh? haha!!!

  7. SL says:

    Haha! The last point is particularly intriguing :D

    • Specs says:

      Hehehe, well its actually true for both parties. See, the problem is… if one ‘wins’ the other ‘loses’… and the biggest thing with being married is… you have to keep on reminding yourself you’re both on the same side!

  8. nadia says:

    “Guys just don’t get that they’re not supposed to AGREE when a girl is being self-critical… in fact, that’s the only time they’re allowed to disagree and will be given brownie points for it.” I hope every husband in the world reads this part :)

    PS: I thought we had discussed this pins-in-the-hair thing, and yet someone got hurt?!

    • Specs says:

      Yes ma’am. I remember we had discussed the pins. We had also discussed trying not to wash it. Lets just say I TRIED to follow your instructions. That is why I’m saying guys should listen and not say kiyon kiyon too many times -_-

      Well, now he knows to listen to me. Hah! *grin*

  9. Smee says:

    Oh Speckie, oh speckie,
    you seem to have aged 20 years!
    Have I really been asleep for that long? Hai hai

    • Specs says:

      Aged 20 years? Surely you mean 20 years OLD.

      I dun have wrinkles.

      And what are you talking about, woman?! The age is getting to you!

  10. Shawna Ayoub says:

    LOL. Thanks for a great morning laugh. I was alternately nodding my head and shaking it in disbelief all the way through. Kind of dizzy now… The Nash quote at the end is perfect. :D

  11. 'liya says:

    Love the rhyme at the end! :D

  12. Gaia says:

    LOL! Mashalah… am happy for you :)

  13. Sumera says:

    These are things that every husband should do regardless – even after 20 yrs of marriage! :p

  14. Mezba says:

    I am always right!

  15. sobia says:

    I like the quote, though I bet that goes for both sides :)

  16. pinkkay says:

    seriously loved the post..the images that resulted in my mind were at least as hilarious as the legally blonde (movie) :D
    i would have been widowed (by choice) had my husband agreed to my statement about my awful hair ;)

  17. anonymoustwin says:

    lol Not surprisingly all my female friends agree to this. *SIGH*

  18. Anas Imtiaz says:

    I’m saving it for quick reference in the future, might come handy … because currently if I imagine my future self, I’d definitely be saying/doing most of the things that I’m apparently not supposed to…esp the cooking skills part :D

    Great post!

  19. studentin96 says:

    Hahaha… I had a headache but this made me laugh and the headache is gone! Thanks you made my day!

    Btw seems you are having fun! :p

  20. Leena S. says:

    lol…loved the post!!! perhaps cuz i could relate to it ;)

  21. Ash says:

    LOL – totally agree with all of that… for me the worst was matt labelling the album as his wedding instead of both your names or just yours!!!

  22. falsay says:

    That’s one insightful post. Did I ever tell you, how you make me laugh? Update please! I miss your posts.

    • Specs says:

      Aw, thanks for the nice words, Falsa!

      Was tied up with some commitments- have breathing space now so will try to blog regularly!

  23. *claps* I must bookmark this page. It will still be useful 10 years in the future.

  24. renee says:

    :-) Good list…and so very true.

  25. hina says:

    I just randomly found your blog and this is the first post I read. I wanted to leave a little note saying how entertaining yet truthful it is. Although I’m not married, I could imagine similar reactions to the scenarios you mentioned.

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