Non-sensery Rhymes I

Exams!!! Oh my god…T and M both called me today asking some stuff about this and that…what am I to tell them? I haven’t even STARTED yet…aww….Anyways, I was talking to my good friend…and almost sister S today…Something she told me about nursery rhymes and all and got my thoughts going in a totally new direction. I was thinking about what nonsense means to us. What’s the stuff with all the nursery rhymes anyways? There mostly some senseless pieces if poetry that we get reciting. World where eggs sit on walls, cats dance and lions juggle about; places where fairies rock you to sleep…and where cradles get into trees. But really, the field of nonsense poetry is very large and ever changing. And I suddenly noticed, there’s one thing all these pieces of ‘nonsense’ have in common…they paint pictures of utopia where everyone loves each other…no wonder they’re called pieces of nonsense by the more ‘wizened ones’ among us. And I think Limericks top them all as far as utter illogical ness is concerned.

There was an old person from Buda,
Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
Till at last, with a hammer,
They silenced his clamor,
By smashing that person of Buda.

The only problem is, here you have to pronounce ‘ruder’ like ru-dah…somewhat like something Ricky Ponting does when he’s saying, ‘The boys played bet-tah.’

In fact, as far as absurdity is concerned, nothing beats ye good old limericks. Ha ha…There’s one that goes:

There was the young lady of Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger,
They returned from the ride,
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger!!

And then there’s the one that was written by some forgotten poet:
As a beauty I’ a great star,
Others are handsomer far,
But my face__I don’t mind it,
Because I’m behind it,
It’s the folks out front that I jar!

And then…ha ha…sorry…I’m on a roll here so don’t try to stop me…

There was a young lady named Banker,
Who slept as the ship lay at anchor,
She awoke in dismay,
When she heard the mate say,
‘Hi! Hoist up the top sheet and spanker!’


There was a young wife from Antigua,
Who remarked to her spouse,
“What a Pigua,”
He retorted, “My queen,
Is it my manners you mean,
Or do you refer to my figua?”

Ha ha…There were some that even crossed the borders of silly and the language was exploited to its fullest

She frowned and called him Mr.
Because in sport he Kr.
And so, in spite,
That very nite,
The Mr.Kr.Sr.

And here’s my favorite one of all time,

A girl who weighed many an Oz.
Used language I dare not pronOz,
For a fellow unkind,
Pulled her chair out behind,
Just to see, or so he said, if she’d bOz!

Ha ha…sorry for the long post but it was just that…I couldn’t resist.

This entry was posted in Humor, limericks. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Non-sensery Rhymes I

  1. Boo! says:

    I need to figure some of these out… *scratches brain*

    Can’t you just stick to number and stuff?

  2. boba says:

    haha, hilarious! where dya get them all from – you must have one hell of a ‘thinking brain’!

  3. Optimistic Guard says:

    Lol, limericks are fun where did you get all of these from, Boo keep scratching try and try again boy you will win at last.

  4. Miss Specs says:

    This is from a book…Ever heard of ’em, ye fellow bloggers? They’re made of PAGES…and its like 3-D…yo guys won’t get it…

    Ha ha…ribbing you all. Wait for installment II, i’ll spell it all out.:D
    Thanks for coming by people…I thought no one would read me….

  5. mademaq says:

    Hi. I came across your blog yesterday, from a comment on Gaia’s blog. I started from the present posts and scrolled back so this is as far as I’ve gotten. And I’ve got to say: I LOVE your blog. Reason I’m commenting right now is that I want to add some limericks. I’m sure you’ll like them as much as I do. So here goes:

    1. Down south where the bananas grow
    An ant stepped on an elephant’s toe
    The elephant said, with tears in his eyes
    Step on somebody your own size.

    2. An accident happened to my brother Jim
    When somebody threw a tomato at him
    Tomatoes are juicy and don’t hurt the skin
    But this one was specially packed in a tin.

    3. Lizzie Borden with an axe
    Gave her father forty whacks
    When she saw what she had done
    She gave her mother forty one. (Apparently, according to Agatha Christie, this is a true story!)

    4. Young Sammy Watkins jumped out of bed
    He ran to his sister and cut off her head
    This gave his dear mother a great deal of pain
    She hopes he never will do it again.

    5. There was a young man from Bengal
    Who was invited to a fancy dress ball
    He thought: “I’ll risk it,
    “I’ll go as a biscuit”
    And the dog ate him up in the hall.

    Except for the last one, which I read last October, the others I’ve written from memory. I’ve been chuckling over them since I was 12, so do forgive any mistake I’ve made in their transcription :). Hope you like ’em.

  6. mademaq says:

    After posting the above, I realised that this is the last post, going backwards 😦 I was having so much fun. Oh well, I do hope you post new stuff frequently and I’d love long posts.

    All the best wishes in the world and prayers for your future.


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