The post titled ‘YOU!’

Abdullah, fondly known as Ugly Duckling on the World Wide Web is known for his legendary translation of Cogito Ergo Sum as ‘I Can’t Think’… can’t fault the boy for his truthfulness… and his quirky sense of humor which I absolutely dig.

So he wrote me some wedding tips and tricks to make the whole event more memorable (I won’t mention the arm twisting I had to do to get this out of him) so here they are. Enjoy πŸ˜‰

*cough*

I shall get straight to the point.

I know you’re engaged and all but, just for the fun of it, let’s suppose you’re not.

The engagement part is going to be short.

This is what you do when they come for the rishta-pakka-karna-ceremony-a.k.a-engagement-thing.

Be loud.

When your mom comes out of the room, where your MIL and to-be are, start screaming, “NAHIN NA! MAMA, NAHIN!”

… And then comes the mehndi part.

Be loud.

Wear black. Goes well with the mehndi.

A pair of sunglasses. Goes well with the mehndi.

Leather gloves – black. Go well with the mehndi.

Play some 50 Cent thang. Goes well with the mehndi bhangra.

Aur phir baraat/nikah/rukhsati.

Be loud.

Smile like hell.

When the maulvi-sahab comes to you for the whole nikaah/haq-mehr-agreement-thing, doze off.

Wake up shouting some random swear word.

Demand everything Meera asked for in the Haq-mehr. 😐

When the maulvi-sahab goes to the boys-section (haha Bahria), take out your pack of cards and ask if anyone wants to play Bluff.

OR keep miss-calling (it’s a term here in Pakistan) your to-be.

You’re Mrsspecs now, officially.

Congratulations.

Phir rukhsati ho gi! Instead of crying, laugh.

Ask your family and friends to do the same.

Then comes the Valima.

Don’t attend it.

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31 Responses to The post titled ‘YOU!’

  1. Pingback: The post titled β€˜YOU!’ | Tea Break

  2. JDee says:

    I don’t think your arm twisting worked as it should have.

  3. So lame. 😦 Told you so. πŸ˜€ 😦

  4. Humaira says:

    HAHAHA! Oh that was hilarious! I like the constant reminder to be loud!

  5. boba says:

    UG is awesome. I particularly like the image of you dressed in black with sunglasses and leather gloves and mehndi! πŸ™‚

  6. Shawna says:

    I liked not attending the valima. Oh the controversy! LOL.

  7. I like πŸ˜›

    Miss-calling your to-be is funny
    And the random-wakinjg-up-with-a-gaali
    OYE…******!

  8. iMuslim says:

    I think missing the walima would be awesome… I mean, you’re already married, so it wouldn’t technically be ‘eloping’, but why not jump on the plane a little earlier to your honeymoon destination, and avoid the drama of relatives pigging out? πŸ˜‰

  9. Daisy the lazy says:

    Hello Missy, I was wondering around cyberspace in an attempt to delay working at work and find you appear to be getting married

    I have only one piece of advice for you

    Hahahaha

    Erm… sorry

    I mean.. thats not advice is it.

    What I mean is this

    actually I have no advice..

    all I can say is congratulations, may you have an amazing future and dont pick up his discarded socks.

  10. Nabeel says:

    But the real lesson we all learn from this is that UglyDuckling sahab cannot be forced. Especially for making LISTS.

  11. Awais Aftab says:

    Lolz. Brilliant advice! πŸ˜€

  12. Bush says:

    Hahaha! xD Dugly is awesome

  13. A Desi says:

    wow… he never fails to lol me πŸ˜›

  14. A Desi says:

    on a serious note
    p.s. missing a valima as a guest is gunah
    so i guess not attending yours is triple the gunah :}

  15. Saadat says:

    Blasphemy! πŸ˜€

  16. Marina says:

    Haha, as usual, Duckling SO rocks =D

  17. Haleem says:

    Ah .. so that’s what I SHOULD have done!

    er.. but if everything was in reverse, shouldn’t YOU give something to the guy for Haq Mehr? πŸ™‚

  18. Sumera says:

    It’ll be memorable alright! lol

  19. Saadie says:

    lol have fun :P.

  20. Minerva says:

    lol. If someone DID take his advice, it’d be a kickass wedding.

  21. Maryam says:

    Lmao….!!!!
    Aweshum tips…!!!!
    think of trying any of them..??

  22. Anushay. says:

    He’s amazing, I swear! A good doze of b.s for me this early πŸ˜‰

  23. mariyas says:

    I tagged you.

    7 overrated things according to you πŸ™‚

  24. Specs says:

    Thank you all… and thank you UD. You gave me great advice. πŸ˜‰

    I’m just kinda sad that I already am loud and do strange things :-S

  25. smacula says:

    haha i love beagly πŸ˜€

    don’t attend your valima… classic πŸ˜€

  26. Ugly Shoelace says:

    Aww! Ugly duckling = cutie patootie!

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