Abdullah, fondly known as Ugly Duckling on the World Wide Web is known for his legendary translation of Cogito Ergo Sum as ‘I Can’t Think’… can’t fault the boy for his truthfulness… and his quirky sense of humor which I absolutely dig.
So he wrote me some wedding tips and tricks to make the whole event more memorable (I won’t mention the arm twisting I had to do to get this out of him) so here they are. Enjoy 😉
I shall get straight to the point.
I know you’re engaged and all but, just for the fun of it, let’s suppose you’re not.
The engagement part is going to be short.
This is what you do when they come for the rishta-pakka-karna-ceremony-a.k.a-engagement-thing.
When your mom comes out of the room, where your MIL and to-be are, start screaming, “NAHIN NA! MAMA, NAHIN!”
… And then comes the mehndi part.
Wear black. Goes well with the mehndi.
A pair of sunglasses. Goes well with the mehndi.
Leather gloves – black. Go well with the mehndi.
Play some 50 Cent thang. Goes well with the mehndi bhangra.
Aur phir baraat/nikah/rukhsati.
Smile like hell.
When the maulvi-sahab comes to you for the whole nikaah/haq-mehr-agreement-thing, doze off.
Wake up shouting some random swear word.
Demand everything Meera asked for in the Haq-mehr. 😐
When the maulvi-sahab goes to the boys-section (haha Bahria), take out your pack of cards and ask if anyone wants to play Bluff.
OR keep miss-calling (it’s a term here in Pakistan) your to-be.
You’re Mrsspecs now, officially.
Phir rukhsati ho gi! Instead of crying, laugh.
Ask your family and friends to do the same.
Then comes the Valima.
Don’t attend it.