7 OVER RATED THINGS

Mariyas tagged me to write about what, IMSO (that’s ‘In My Specy Opinion’ for the uninitiated) are the top 7 over rated things.

1) The Wedding

Old biddies treat weddings like the first day of school. Don’t get the connection? Well, see… a mom tells her kid about how fantastic the first day of school is going to be and they’ll get new uniforms and new books and a nice packed lunch, any kid with an ounce of sense would run screaming in the other direction because they would realize the first day of school isn’t where its going to end; they’re looking at 16 years of waking up early and turning in homework…

Sorry, I went off track. Where was I? Oh  yeah. Weddings. Old biddies really expect a 23-year-old to be excited about an arranged marriage because hey, there will be a weddinnnnnggg! Yay! Er, whatever.

**********

[the dragon has eaten Lord Farquaad and spits out his crown]
Donkey: Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?

**********

2. Not Working Hard ‘You just need to know how to work a crowd. Working hard doesn’t have a lot to do with success.’ What crap. Don’t ever believe that. Life doesn’t hand anyone anything on a plate. You have to be at work on time and be there every single day to get that paycheck. Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean life is easy for anyone.

**********

[Donkey thinks he’s dying]
The Donkey: Oh man. I can’t feel my toes.
[Looks down and yelps]
The Donkey: I don’t have any toes.
[Sits down]
The Donkey: I think I need a hug.

**********

3. Blogging It seems to be everywhere these days, specially in Pakistan. Everyone who can hit  ‘publish’  figure they’re a writer. Not to be mean but when I meet someone at a wedding who goes on and on and on… and on… wait, she’s still going on… and on about how she writes on the internet and is some sort of celebrity there and then you go and check her blog to find 15 posts in the year and a grand total of, wait for it, 3… yes, that’s THREE comments in all. Jesus, seriously. Celebrity isn’t that easy in the cyber world either. What are people thinking, I don’t know. But suddenly its cool to blog and everyone’s blahging. And showing off about it.

**********

Princess Fiona: What kind of a knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

**********

4. Advice Most people give crap advice. And now that a marriage is looming up in the next year, I get it by the tonnes. Literally TONNES. I am sitting at a table at some random wedding and as soon as people get to know I’m headed full tilt for a wedding somewhere nearby, people I don’t know from Adam start giving me precious pearls of wisdom. Sometimes one needs friends who would give you advice to sort some stuff out in your head but all the time from people who don’t know anything about you or the problems you’re likely to be facing being you… well, thanks but no thanks.

**********

[Shrek enters the tournament]
Lord Farquaad: What’s that? It’s hideous.
Shrek: Well, that’s not very nice.
[looks at Donkey]
Shrek: It’s just a donkey.

**********

5. Clothes you design yourself Seriously. Who cares. What are designers for? Spending ten days designing an outfit that cost you $100 and then giving me the condescending look because I got mine from a ready-to-wear line for $250… not cool. I saved myself ten days of headache and calloused feet running about the market.

**********

[Donkey and Shrek are looking at constellations in the night sky]
The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek: Well, there’s, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
Shrek: That’s the moon.
The Donkey: Oh, okay.

**********

6. Watching a game Seriously, either get off your couch and play it or don’t watch it. What’s with the watching a game, I don’t get. And then they lose arguments with me about what’s on-side and go off in a huff.

**********

The Donkey: C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.

**********
7. Being White No, seriously, do you even want me to go there?

**********
[Dragon, having a crush on Donkey, is cuddling him]
Donkey: [desperately talking] I don’t want to rush into a… physical relationship… I’m not that emotionally ready for a… uh… commitment of this… uh… magnitude! Really, that’s the word I’m looking for, magnitude… Huh! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Hey! What’re you doing? Okay, okay, okay… let’s just back up a little and take this one step at a time… I mean, we should really get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even as pen pals, you know, coz I’m on the road a lot, but I just love to get a card… Hey, hey, hey, don’t do that, that’s my *tail*, that’s my personal tail, you’re gonna tear it off! I don’t give permission to… Hey, what’re you gonna do next? Oh, no, no, no, no… no!
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37 Responses to 7 OVER RATED THINGS

  1. Saadat says:

    I don’t understand. Is Shrek overrated too?

  2. Minerva says:

    Echoing Saadat.

    Nice tag though.

  3. Shrek is NOT overrated!

  4. nadia says:

    Weddings and the obsession with white skin is definitely overrated. And yes, blogging too! After exchanging phone numbers with someone you’ve recently met, you swap blog URLs too.

    And Shrek is NOT overrated. I love Shrek, and Donkey, and Puss, and Fiona, and all their kids. And I’ve seen part 1 a dozen times.

    Princess Fiona: You didn’t slay the dragon?
    Shrek: It’s not on my “to do” list. Now come on.
    Princess Fiona: But this isn’t right. You’re meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying-that’s what all the other knights did.
    Shrek: Yeah, right before they burst into flame.

  5. Mezba says:

    Enjoyed this thoroughly! Shrek is an all time favourite movie (but only the first one).

    I think pancakes are overrated.

    And butter chicken too.

  6. You’re white. HAAAAA! *points*

    Main blog karta houn. Main bohot cool houn. B)

  7. mssnaz says:

    I don’t think I go to enough weddings (only been to 4 this year! – probably the busiest it’s ever been for me) which would probably explain why I love them…does that make me an old biddie? Speaking of weddings, I found this blog post which you might find an interesting read: http://sliceoflemon.com/2009/06/19/this-post-is-so-long-if-i-were-you-i-wouldnt-read-it/

  8. 'liya says:

    I love Shrek and think the movie quotes should be part of all your posts 😀

  9. ymiss says:

    This made me want to watch shrek again 🙂

  10. Sadia says:

    Second ymiss! I want to watch shrek too! =)

  11. mariyas says:

    I just LOUVE IT 🙂

    Thanx so much 🙂

  12. mubi says:

    great post as ever..though i wud disagree with the ‘watching the game’ hey i do that :p

    hehehe the shrek bits were really good 😀 😀

    weddings n gora rung ufff !

  13. NoOne says:

    so whose making ur dress? what colour!

  14. smacula says:

    aah.. i have not been here in a long time… good stuff speccy… i absolutely love shrek 😀

    and theres a certain charm to watchin a game u love.. its the same as watchin a music vdo… anyways… u’ll get over it 😛

  15. Yousuf says:

    the shrek part was awesome

  16. Sumera says:

    The quotes go very well with the tag! 😀

  17. boba says:

    I went to the cinemas today and a friend commented on how someone looked like Shrek whilst we were waiting for the film to come on and then I jsut really realy wanted to watch Shrek. So I told him, and we just walked out of the cinemas, went to his flat and watched Shrek. Awesome.

    4) That so includes me, haha.

    Hope you are well. This doubles as an email btw.

  18. Alisha says:

    No. 1, 2 and 7 are just TOO true!!

  19. Leena S. says:

    oh this reminds me I have to do this tag too!
    And I’l have a few similar points i think

  20. Pingback: 7 Overrated Things. « Assorted Mundanities.

  21. The one about advice cracked me up, so true! And it happens all over again when you have a baby down the road – only then people toss in all the birth horror stories they’ve ever heard. As if any pregnant woman wants to hear that!

  22. masood says:

    My vote is definitely to the blogging. I can say, soon the people are going to be recognized with their blog names :-p

  23. Ruby says:

    This was the msot awesome post ever! I love the Shrek bits!

  24. Cavaliere says:

    characteristic ms. specy.. 😀

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