Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

If you’ve never been to the gym, I wouldn’t place a bet on your cardiovascular health but I would tell you for sure you’ve missed on a real experience.

Here are some things I’ve observed over the years. Feel free to add your own observations.

  • People who come to hang around and do 10 minutes on this, 10 minutes on that will have perfectly co-ordinated clothes with matching headbands, wrist bands, leg warmers, socks and two types of shoes- one for standingΒ around in the aerobics class… the other pair to stand on the treadmill and press random buttons.
  • The concept of sports undergarments still obviously doesn’t gel with most ladies. I overheard someone complaining to the instructor that its just too tight. ‘Erm,’ says the insructor, ‘ its supposed to be tight.’
  • My sister and I are both addicted to running. Of course we have people coming up to us and telling us we shouldn’t do it because it causes ‘problems’- we were headed to the lockers when we find something pink and rubbery on the floor… ‘what’s this?’ I say. ‘Oh, ‘ says A, ‘everyone check to see whose uterus just dropped out.’ And this Β lady told us off for making fun of very serious matters.
  • The people serious about their workouts usually take less than an hour and they don’t bother with the people in the gym. Come -> change -> workout -> shower -> leave
  • Weight comparisons are a normal matter where the older ladies are concerned. ‘A’ is on a treadmill when the lady next to her asks her how much she weighs. A’s Β a bit shocked but says, ‘165 pounds.’ ‘WHAAAT,’ screams the lady, ‘ I’m the same weight but look at me and look at how slim YOU are!’ A smiles a polite smile and doesn’t point out the obvious- she’s 5’8″ and the lady’s barely 5’2″
  • Newbies can be spotted a mile away because
    • Everything is color coordinated
    • They’ll take forever to change
    • They’ll check the readings on other people’s machines all the time. Please don’t do that, its intrusive.
    • They’ll grip the machine like its just about to shoot out from under them
    • They’ll definitely try inclined crunches AND the weights the first day. And the second one. They’ll only stop when the pain hits and they have to stay away for a week.

Fun times!

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45 Responses to Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

  1. smacula says:

    hahhahaha πŸ˜›

    that was me laughin at an image of u huffin and puffin at gym πŸ˜€

    at least u don hav to use the changing rooms i have to use … so be thankful for that πŸ˜›

  2. uglyduckling91 says:

    hahahahahaha @ smacula’s comment

    hahahahahaha @ the same thing

    hahahahahaha

    Gyming must be fun. πŸ˜€

    Shukar hai, I don’t need to work out. I’m in good shape. B]

  3. Hey, just stumbled across your blog and enjoyed reading some of your posts πŸ™‚

    Haha, I recently rejoined the gym after being away for almost a year. And I feel like a newbie all over again – barely manage the treadmill without passing out! But observing other people always makes for a good laugh. The other day I saw a man literally spend ten minutes “disinfecting” the treadmill before he got on!

    • Specs says:

      Hey, thanks for reading and commenting, Closet Blogger!

      If I try the treadmill after a long time, it usually makes my head spin when I get off it, for some reason. LOL@ The disinfection- I totally forgot that kind, hahaha. πŸ™‚

  4. boba says:

    lols at UG. I’m going to send you a pic/email further proving our psychic abilities πŸ™‚

  5. Pingback: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator | Tea Break

  6. Pingback: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator | Tea Break

  7. 'liya says:

    I’m not a good gym buddy, I work out for 2o minutes then I beg V that it’s time to leave because I’m tired πŸ˜€

    Add to the list people who hang around nearby making you feel uncomfortable because they want to use the machine you’re on and you’ve barely started your set!

    • Specs says:

      Hehehe, you should sit around and observe people. Or take a 1 lb weight and just swing your arms and pretend you’re doing something πŸ˜€ That works for my sister ‘A’ πŸ˜€ What do you usually do at the gym?

      And yeaaah, THOSE people, LOL. My gym has a 30 minute time limit on each machine- people can see you’ve only done about 5 minutes, yet they still hang around!!

  8. Alisha says:

    LOL @ A’s uterus joke! So what was it , the pink and rubbery thing?
    You must be all fit and toned now. *envious look* πŸ˜‰

    • Specs says:

      Alisha, that was a shower cap. πŸ™‚ It was just all crumpled and looked so weird, LoL.

      Erm, I’ve been a running fan for quite some years so the ‘fit and toned’ part hasn’t really changed, hehe. I wanted to drop some weight but the instructor’s thrown up her hands because I can only give an hour a day and I already burn about 650+ calories per session and I don’t have time for more. The nutritionist suggested I try eating less calories but that’s not happening!!!

  9. nadia says:

    LOL .. nice one, Specs! πŸ˜€

    There’s a gym in the building where we live, and I’ve seen women wearing lots of make up; and they go to the gym to socialize (apparently working out their mouths). Oh, and back when I was in college, there were women who sing along loudly – to whatever they’re listening to with their headphones on – while running on the treadmill. That was really annoying.

    • Specs says:

      The makeup is a source of never-ending amusement, LOL. I can’t stop laughing at ‘working out their mouths’… lets also add ‘running’ their mouths, ‘jumping’ to conclusions and ‘pushing’ their luck. :haha:

      I’m embarrassed to admit I actually I do sing-along when on the treadmill- oops! I think its under my breath but when you’ve got your headphones in, its hard to remember. :embarrassed:

  10. Saadat says:

    You are addicted to running, and you use the treadmill? What blasphemy is this? 😯

    Real running addicts, when they run, explore the whole city or the countryside. They fight the cold rain or the scorching heat. They outrun stray dogs. They move past fellow humans and leave them in a state of awe.

    Most importantly, real running addicts don’t run on a goddamn treadmill.

    *takes a deep breath and calms down*

    *pauses*

    You are a woman, right? And you still live in Pakistan.

    *pauses again*

    Never mind.

    • Specs says:

      Oh yeah, LOL. From the first sentence on, that’s what I was thinking – this, is Pakistan. I don’t want to have to outrun a crowd!!

      I’m really looking forward to going running in an open place when I move, Insha’Allah. πŸ™‚ Its not fun without the feel of the wind burning your cheeks and nose πŸ™‚

  11. Saadat says:

    The people serious about their workouts usually take less than an hour and they don’t bother with the people in the gym. Come -> change -> workout -> shower -> leave

    Completely agreed. Also, I had noticed (in my good old days when I used to work out) that the best time to visit the gym is early in the morning — that’s the time when there are no more than 5 people in the gym, and they are all the ones who take their workouts seriously. Some would even be polite enough to correct your posture for a specific exercise or give you tips if you’re a newbie, without being condescending — I used to hate the condescending types.

    • Specs says:

      I would so love to go to gym in the morning but no Ladies’ Gym is open that early- apparently they’re all for ladies who have nothing else to fill their time with.

      Directly after office- about 6:15- is also a good time for the reason you just mentioned: only people (women?) who are serious head straight to the gym after office and they’re usually helpful and friendly and share stuff that worked for them and how to deal with this machine or that (unlike the instructors who are torturers!)- its very nice!

      Makes me wonder why anyone ever quits πŸ™‚

  12. Note to self: Thou shalt never go to thy gym for the fear of losing one’s uterus.

    These are pretty useful tips. But I don’t think I shall be going to the gym anytime soon, cause the last time I checked, I’m underweight.

  13. Minerva says:

    lol. cute post.

    i admire women who can keep consistent at gyms. takes pluck and stubbornness.

    and i’m a GREAT fan of stubbornness!

  14. falsa says:

    That was funny. On my first day back in the gym, after a hiatus of 6 months a woman (with a fabulous body and 4 kids) commanded me to do stretches and floor exercises. Needless to say, I couldn’t look at the floor for a month.

    But I run too, outside, in the open, with the hijab, in Pakistan. It’s darkish, and to ones who want to look, whatever a***oles.

  15. H says:

    The make-up thing makes me laugh. The women have it on even early in the morning even though they have to shower before going to work. I feel like saying – ‘yo! so what time do you get up in the morning to get dressed for the gym?’

  16. Anas Imtiaz says:

    LOL! This is one the best blogposts I’ve read in a long time. Very true (and funny). Though I hate the gym showers…they are just soo….non good. Its like OpenShower (in an analogy to OpenSource software) where ur allowed to see everything :\

    • Specs says:

      Open Source software, hahaha!!! That’s a very original name- I think I’ll steal it πŸ™‚

      I hate the gym showers too… but I hate people who don’t shower more. πŸ˜›

  17. Mezba says:

    Fantastic collection of the people who go to gym!

  18. A Desi says:

    hahahah! wow you have an eye for details πŸ˜‰

  19. GeekiSiddiqui says:

    Running is hard…..I’m always gripping the machine after 10mins….I like the eliptical better. I usually do weights though. I know I need to do cario…..but weights feel more fun to me. Cardio is……work :S

    • Specs says:

      I ❀ the elliptical too. But weights and me- noooo.

      I love Cardio for the 'high' that comes 10 minutes after you're done but you're right, LoLz, its 'work' hahaha.

  20. jammie says:

    just hopped here from minerva- really enjoyed this one πŸ™‚

    i just went back to the gym for pilates about 3 years after having having a baby and i feel like a newbie- not to say i have matching clothes but i find myself sneakily staring at other body types-. its odd coz i wasnt ever like this- i was the kind who would literally walk in, exercise and then leave.

    • Specs says:

      Welcome to my blog, Jammie!

      Hmm, well, I think everyone who is new, even to a certain gym, if not to exercising, gives everyone a ‘check-out’ when they walk in, LoLz. πŸ™‚

  21. mubi says:

    lol
    imagine DIDI going to the gym and saying ‘ooooo what does this button do’ :p

    • Specs says:

      LoLz, you’ll be having a pretty good idea of what most people do there, then. Hahaha It IS all, “Oooh, what does this button do? aah, its going too fast, aaahhh *slam*”

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