Enter Real Life: More …

Carrying on from the last post, then…. more questions!

Mssnaz is the person who inspired me to start blogging… erm, anyone notice the similarity in names? 😉 Yes, its a derivative of hers!

… I suppose the REALLY obvious question is, how are you getting on with the in-laws?

Well, Mr Specs is the eldest sibling so as his wife, I get a bit of the same distance and respect that he does even though all of his siblings are older than me… It was a bit uncomfortable in the beginning to be addressed so formally when I’ve known the girls for a pretty long time and had a nice relationship with them, but now I’m seeing the sense in keeping things friendly yet a bit formal. Overall, they’ve been marvelous so far, Masha’Allah.


One of the first bloggers I started to read way back when I only read 5 blogs, ‘Liya is an awfully sweet Canadian blogger who is an inspiration for me because she’s an awesome, dynamic teacher who makes me wish… almost… I could go back to school and be in her class.

What do you miss the most?

Well, I haven’t been living at the in-laws except for weekends and Mr Specs is 6000 kms away so its not a big difference from my old life. However, I do miss having a full night’s sleep without feeling guilty about ignoring the in-laws or the guy! And if we’re talking about the post-wedding phase, I miss Mr Specs. I really do. Though I have yet to admit it to him *wink*


Ugly Duckling is my little brother… what with his girls, self praise and sheer awesomeness, he reminds me of Barney. He also has the dubious honor of being the only blogger I asked (arm-twisted?) into writing me a guest post. I know him in real life because he and my sister went to the same school… and I like this one enough to threaten, outside the cyber world, someone who insulted him. True story.

UD just asked Why still MISS specs? O_o To which I can only say… BECAUSE.


Gaia is an Abu-Dhabian-American-Pakistani *catches breath* girl who is dynamic, well-educated and really sweet and normal even though she went to Princeton. She’s getting married in a couple of months and I wish her the best in life! *muah*

What’s changed the most from single life to married life?

To me, it was a big issue to adjust to the idea that even though we’re competing in life with guys, you suddenly hand over the reins of yours to someone who is, for the most part, no better qualified than you to handle it- all because he’s a guy. AlHamduLillah I ended up with someone who does not expect that of me but it took me a while to realize society still does. So if you have a decision e.g. studying further, that’s likely to draw objections, you just take him into confidence and tell people he is okay with it. That shuts them up for the most part. But truly, it was difficult to realize I need token approval before I can even as much as go out with friends. Though its a bit different when its just the two of you living alone… I know then I don’t even require a token ‘approval’ because he doesn’t mind …but when you’re out in society, you have to play by the rules. Its irritating.

And the shopping… I can no longer shop till I drop because I feel guilty about spending his money and if we’re together, he won’t let me pay. We had our first sulking episode over it (I did the sulking, haha)

Do you feel like a different person? I feel a bit scared because I’m still the same me. Wasn’t I supposed to be maturer and wiser and whatnot?

Are you decked out in make-up and jewelry every day? No! I didn’t even wear half the jewelery sets because Mr Specs refused to do the traditional ‘dinner’ circuits. And make-up, only the first 2 3 days is enough. I wore my normal office-style makeup the rest of the time- neutral lipstick and brown eyeliner (yes, that’s TMI)

Do you miss alone time? Privacy issues? Hmm…  if your husband is a comfortable person to be around, Insha’Allah, you start preferring his company or inclusion in whatever you’re doing and ‘me’ time isn’t the only relaxing time for you. 🙂

What’s it like to be a “wife” ? Not really different. You have a bit more responsibility like taking care whose house gets what present on Eid and which house to visit first and what to give to someone at their wedding- little stuff… but the ‘title’ takes longer. The first time Mr Specs was filling out a form for me, he asked, ‘Should I mark Ms. or Mrs.?’ and for a moment I was a bit :-S at the idea of being called Mrs. I mean, EW. It seems so …

Are you the happiest you’ve ever been in your whole entire life? Well, I am really happy about this whole relationship. But there are other factors in my family (not directly related to me) which kind of over-shadowed it all… but it is the best feeling in the world to have an understanding, kind (VERY IMPORTANT!), loving relationship.

P.S. Leave me your postal address in the comment- I’ll be sending a bill for this. 😀

Okay, that’s enough for today- I’m starting to feel like one of those newspaper columnists who go all preachy and start doling out advice. Oh me Gah, I’m becoming a Mrs. :-O

This entry was posted in marriage, nerds and jocks, Q & A Specs, The Wedding. Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Enter Real Life: More …

  1. sunny says:

    now that is pretty much more liking way to answer questions on the previous post. 😛

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  4. lovetodaydream says:

    I’m loving your responses. I hope you can be together soon!!!

    I have a question: he does not know you blog, so umm, will you tell him once in Europe, hey darling, I’m going to meet xxxx from the blog world? Or will you show him your blog? I am really happy my ex never found out I had a blog, it helps to have a place just for you to vent lol….

    • Specs says:

      Its a good place to vent- true. If I’m depressed, I would prefer to blog about it and just not let it show in ‘real’ life… but if he’s reading it, he would obviously be all ‘what, why, what can I do to help’ and it’d be *dot dot dot* 😉

  5. Leena S. says:

    so ur hubby doesnt know u blog? do tell him abt it, itd be great to see his reaction to all the Masha Allah good things u say about him in ur posts.
    May Allah bless you both. Amen

  6. Divaa Divine says:

    i just cant wait to take up the wife responsibility 😀

  7. Gaia says:

    Dear Specs,

    Thanks for the detailed replies 🙂 I feel slightly less freaked out thought the whole “asking for permission” thing is weird :S. I’ve been a free bird for the last 5 years… lol!

    • Specs says:

      Dear Gaia,

      Anytime old time, sweetie. I had a LOT of help from a certain blogging buddy *cough*you-know-who-you-are-I-love-you!*cough* so I’m okay with spreading the love, haha.

  8. Achelois says:

    How interesting! I’m enjoying seeing you enjoy your newly married life, mA, mA 🙂

  9. nadia says:

    “I can no longer shop till I drop because I feel guilty about spending his money…”

    I had this same feeling for the first 6-7 months of marriage, to which Masood even asked, “Why don’t you ever ask me for anything?” Bas, unke issi sawaal ne meri life badaldi, and I started shopping till I drop – with his money. And I find it even more fun 😀

    (PS: Does he read this blog?)

    • Specs says:

      LOL, well after what happened this time, I’m sure I will never get over the embarrassment. I did not realize he’d stop aisle surfing at the last moment to come and get the bill for me.

      a) I didn’t ask him to pay
      b)The bill was HUGE. Because he took a look at it and took out his Credit Card which embarrassed the cr*p out of me because hey, I HAD the cash with me.

      I asked him later about it and he said he wasn’t shocked- he’s never been shopping with women before so he thought that’s what a normal bill runs to *<3 ❤ <3* hahaha!!!

      (P.S. Oh my Gaah, of course not. He doesn't read anything except newspapers…. and my expression -_-)

  10. Shawna says:

    🙂 So happy I’ve been reading long enough to see this chapter unfold.

  11. Awais Aftab says:

    I’ve a question 🙂 Do you miss blogging-whining about the whole rishta madness of your family? 😉

  12. *blushes*
    Because? *frown* Eyeliner is emo. Period.

    What do you mean becoming a Mrs?

    • Specs says:

      Eyeliner is not emo. Its pretty. And emo people wear mota black eyeliner.

      Oh and but you BECOME a Mrs. Its like… a tadpole frog thing- no improvement on looks but a change nevertheless. 😉

  13. 'liya says:

    You answered my question, I feel quite special now hehe.

    I wonder, what if he blogs too? Have you ever discussed the subject of blogging with him? Maybe he does and hasn’t told you! I wish V had more of an interest in my blogging 😦

    Anyways, when you both come here to visit, you are more than welcome to stop by my classroom!

    • Specs says:

      He says stuff like…er… are you getting bored? Do you wanna read something …Because you read er… books and stuff.

      That’s totally not a person who blogs -_-

      And if he does, I don’t wanna read an account of the trials I put him through, haha!

      And I cannot wait to see you! 😀

  14. mssnaz says:

    now I know your blog name is similar to mine but I had no idea I inspired you to blog 🙂 I’m very touched by that!

    I have another question – tell us about your mehndi (you had a mehndi right??!) what songs did people dance to? and did you want to join in?

    • Specs says:

      Aww *hugs* You’re making me go all mushy.

      Well, whenever I thought blogging, I thought of you so this is the first name that came to mind. Hehehe… and you were one of the most interesting blogs I’ve read and your blog used to have a green background (remember?) and I was SOOO fascinated by it… !!

      Hmm, will answer that question in the next post. I’m liking this question/answer thing!

  15. д§mд says:

    does this superstay lip color stays for super time too? My make up goes off in the air after few hrs 😦

    and well not much to say at the moment but loving the posts .. silent reading is fun too 🙂

    • Specs says:

      Yes, Asma, it does stay on for 10 hrs+ …I haven’t known it to come off yet- dinner or drinks. Just make sure you put it on dry lips and let it air dry for 2 minutes before you smile etc. You can also try LOreal’s take on this– its more comfortable though it costs Rs. 2000+ in Pakistan so I only have one 😛

      Good to know you’re reading 🙂

  16. Pingback: Enter: Real Life- the past and the present | The view from behind my specs…

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