Enter: Real Life- the past and the present

Sobia says:

What is the change that you hate the most? And love the most?

Well, I hate… the fact that everyone considers you public property- you completely lose your privacy. You sneeze and the whole extended family knows. Part of it is owing to you being the fascinating new entity and all the interest you generate but sometimes, I would just like to be left alone, if you know what I’m saying.

I love… the independence. Even though Mr. Specs isn’t here, I get to do what I want, wear what I prefer and go where I please at whatever time and no one will point at me because now I’mΒ married. The logic defeats me but hey, it works!

Aapa asked do you feel you can be just as open in the new family as you were back home??

Somehow, the two question marks at the end of this question make me think I have no two options as an answer πŸ˜‰

Jokes aside… of course not. You can’t sleep at odd timings; you can’t skip dinner if you don’t feel like eating… the list goes on. None of this, of course, has anything to do with them being nice or not, for AlHamduLillah, mine are really nice- its just that there’s a certain decorum and formality that’s always in place so you can’t really do that. And if you’re not really open about the day-to-day stuff, the rest is kind of moot. I’m finding it out the hard way- its best not to have an opinion on anything when at the in-laws.

Nandini asked so do you recommend shaadi for all of us unmarried ones? That is my question…

I do!

Yes. The pun. I know.

I would, however, highly recommend eloping. Unless you enjoy getting poked and prodded by hordes of aunties and being photographed by random strangers you don’t know and the ensuing family politics drama. Waisey, you could use the situations that arise in some of your screen plays πŸ˜‰

Mssnaz asked tell us about your mehndi (you had a mehndi right??!) what songs did people dance to? and did you want to join in?

My Mehndi… ahhh… I didn’t come to it πŸ˜€ I hear it was nice. Everyone had fun and my sisters chose the sound tracks and they had some dances… I hear there were 16 or so. I was working till 9:00 that day so they started by 8:00 since I was going to be late.

Here’s the twist… I didn’t feel like the loud music and the attention so I went to the gym. When I came back home around 11:00 pm, the party was packing up because dinner had been served. Haha. I was wearing pants and my mum made me change to this silky shiny yellow gharara even though there were only my cousins left by then… oh and yes, I hate too much attention and noise and parties where there are relatives. Oh wait. That was obvious. LOL. But there was no ubtan or mehndi being stuck on my hands except near the end of the function because I had told them I had office the next day so I wasn’t staying up all night trying to take care of the mess.

I’m such a spoil sport. I know!

This entry was posted in Dear Diary, marriage, Q & A Specs. Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Enter: Real Life- the past and the present

  1. Sumera says:

    Awww, mendhi’s are fun. But yes the attention is a bit scary but nothing like the wedding day!

    When at in-laws you are expected to have the same enthusiasm as they have for things, but really keeping up that pretence is exhausting. And regarding opinions, they can rub people up the wrong way so its best to keep shush even if you have one.

    • Specs says:

      I attended the wedding because I was made to. LOL.

      Re: In-laws: Oh dear me, you know exactly what I’m talking about, then. So true, Sumera!

  2. nadia says:

    “I would just like to be left alone…” You are the bari bahu (and the only one), you can’t be left alone. Hey, by the way, I have a true story to tell you – relating to the privacy issue. I’m not sure whether I’ve already told you about it or not, since I’ve already told you a thousand stories, but here goes: a friend got married in Lahore recently and, on their wedding night, the groom’s grandmother slept right outside the newly-weds’ bedroom door!

  3. H says:

    You went to work the day after your mehndi? You were at work the day of your mehndi? And I thought I was a workaholic. lol.
    P.S Weren’t you harassed by your family for not taking days off?

    • Specs says:

      I was at work 18 hours before my wedding!

      My family didn’t harass me because there were only two weeks I could take off. So they were kind of glad I was taking them after the wedding and not before it!

  4. Senilius says:

    ROFL @ not being in your own mehndi. Pretty cool! πŸ˜›

    And congrats on getting married. πŸ™‚

    • Specs says:

      There were only about 70 people at the Mehndi jig- it wasn’t that big :-$

      Yes, I’m trying to defend my actions.

      Thank you, re: congratulations πŸ™‚

  5. Anas Imtiaz says:

    What a girl-ish post πŸ˜› But that mehendi part was actually funny πŸ˜€

  6. Achelois says:

    So sweet. I love your post-shaadi posts πŸ™‚

  7. No One says:

    That’s so crazy. So you had a Mehndi…but you didn’t really attend it…geez…and there were 16 dances that you missed…whaaaaaaaaaaaa….

    In a nice way, you are the most unconventional bride I ever met!


    • Specs says:

      My mother agrees with you and not in a nice way either. According to her ‘Humaree tou hasrat hee reh gayee key kaheen sey pata laga is ki shaadi hoee hey. Koi asr he nai’ Matlub, ab kia, I should wear bling around the house?


      Bus. Keh dia. *wink*

  8. Anisah says:

    What is shaadi?


  9. sobia says:

    Sounds like the perfect mehndi πŸ™‚

  10. 'liya says:

    lol I can’t believe you didn’t show up!

  11. Gaia says:

    Oh wow… Lol, wish I could skip the aunty functions πŸ˜› We’re having dholkis each weekend until the wedding and I don’t have time to go to the gym 😦

    • Specs says:

      You have to MAKE time for the gym. I go for 2 hours directly after office and take my word- there’s nothing better than the luxury of heading straight home and crashing on your bed- but I still do it. And since I’m known for not letting tiredness/ timings get in my way, its perfectly understandable- at least to my sisters- that I went on that day too. O:-)

  12. falsay says:

    I’m not too fond of mehndis either. It’s a lot of dancing (which I completely suck at)
    and loud music (which I am fine with) but still. I’d rather have a sing and freedance session with my female friends. With perhaps Chinese take out or pizza and chips. πŸ™‚

    P.S. ( gymming is awesome!)

  13. Leena S. says:

    lol, i cant believe u missed ur mehndi! my mom would hav freaked out if I didnt show up for my mehndi

    • Specs says:

      My mum knew how I roll- she also knew I was likely to be sulky and silent if no one lets me sleep on time (yes, I’m one of THOSE people *horror*) so she was already planning on getting it started without me!

  14. aapa says:

    yay, u answered my question!! so exciting, wonder what you’ll make of the 2 exclamation marks.lol
    you have to be careful of how you say things don’t you? not knowing in what context they’ll be taken, becomes easier with time i guess.
    your mendhi story is funny. normally they make sure the bride is there before everyone else πŸ˜‰

    • Specs says:

      Hehehe @ two exclamation marks.

      And yes, so true re: saying things carefully- truly, they get misquoted so much of the time its best to keep your silence!

  15. Jasmine says:

    Hi! I’ve just discovered your blog – really interesting πŸ˜€ I was wondering how I can view your archives and past posts? Thanks!

    • Specs says:

      Thanks Jasmine!

      Most of my posts are taken off now. I’ll be making them public again next week or so- then I’ll put up a link to the archives.

  16. Divaa Divine says:

    you missed your mehndi ??? whaaaaaaaaaa

  17. Pankaj says:

    I feel sorry for my Bhabi sometimes. She obviously has to be a little constrained in her behavior living with us. Maybe in time….

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