Enter Real Life: More …

Carrying on from the last post, then…. more questions!

Mssnaz is the person who inspired me to start blogging… erm, anyone notice the similarity in names? ūüėČ Yes, its a derivative of hers!

…¬†I suppose the REALLY obvious question is, how are you getting on with the in-laws?

Well, Mr Specs is the eldest sibling so as his wife, I get a bit of the same distance and respect that he does even though all of his siblings are older than me… It was a bit uncomfortable in the beginning to be addressed so formally when I’ve known the girls for a pretty long time and had a nice relationship with them, but now I’m seeing the sense in keeping things friendly yet a bit formal. Overall, they’ve been¬†marvelous¬†so far, Masha’Allah.

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One of the first bloggers I started to read way back when I only read 5 blogs,¬†‘Liya is an awfully sweet Canadian blogger who is an inspiration for me because she’s an awesome, dynamic teacher who makes me wish… almost… I could go back to school and be in her class.

What do you miss the most?

Well, I haven’t been living at the in-laws except for weekends and Mr Specs is 6000 kms away so its not a big difference from my old life. However, I do miss having a full night’s sleep without feeling guilty about ignoring the in-laws or the guy!¬†And if we’re talking about the post-wedding phase, I miss Mr Specs. I really do. Though I have yet to admit it to him *wink*

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Ugly Duckling is my little brother… what with his girls, self praise and sheer awesomeness, he reminds me of Barney. He also has the dubious honor of being the only blogger I asked (arm-twisted?) into writing me a guest post. I know him in real life because he and my sister went to the same school… and I like this one enough to threaten, outside the cyber world, someone who insulted him. True story.

UD just asked¬†Why still MISS specs? O_o To which I can only say… BECAUSE.

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Gaia is an Abu-Dhabian-American-Pakistani *catches breath* girl who is dynamic, well-educated and really sweet and normal even though she went to Princeton.¬†She’s getting married in a couple of months and I wish her the best in life! *muah*

What’s changed the most from single life to married life?

To me, it was a big issue to adjust to the idea that even though we’re competing in life with guys, you suddenly hand over the reins of yours to someone who is, for the most part, no better qualified than you to handle it- all because he’s a guy. AlHamduLillah I ended up with someone who does not expect that of me but it took me a while to realize society still does. So if you have a decision e.g. studying further, that’s likely to draw objections, you just take him into confidence and tell people he is okay with it. That shuts them up for the most part. But truly, it was difficult to realize I need token approval before I can even as much as go out with friends. Though its a bit different when its just the two of you living alone… I know then I don’t even require a token ‘approval’ because he doesn’t mind …but when you’re out in society, you have to play by the rules. Its irritating.

And the shopping… I can no longer shop till I drop because I feel guilty about spending his money and if we’re together, he won’t let me pay. We had our first sulking episode over it (I did the sulking, haha)

Do you feel like a different person? I feel a bit scared because I’m still the same me. Wasn’t I supposed to be maturer and wiser and whatnot?

Are you decked out in make-up and jewelry every day? No! I didn’t even wear half the¬†jewelery¬†sets because Mr Specs refused to do the traditional ‘dinner’ circuits. And make-up, only the first 2 3 days is enough. I wore my normal office-style makeup the rest of the time- neutral lipstick and brown eyeliner (yes, that’s TMI)

Do you miss alone time? Privacy issues? Hmm… ¬†if your husband is a comfortable person to be around, Insha’Allah, you start preferring his company or inclusion in whatever you’re doing and ‘me’ time isn’t the only relaxing time for you. ūüôā

What‚Äôs it like to be a ‚Äúwife‚ÄĚ ? Not really different. You have a bit more responsibility like taking care whose house gets what present on Eid and which house to visit first and what to give to someone at their wedding- little stuff… but the ‘title’ takes longer. The first time Mr Specs was filling out a form for me, he asked, ‘Should I mark Ms. or Mrs.?’ and for a moment I was a bit :-S at the idea of being called Mrs. I mean, EW. It seems so …

Are you the happiest you‚Äôve ever been in your whole entire life? Well, I am really happy about this whole relationship. But there are other factors in my family (not directly related to me) which kind of over-shadowed it all… but it is the best feeling in the world to have an understanding, kind (VERY IMPORTANT!), loving relationship.

P.S. Leave me your postal address in the comment- I’ll be sending a bill for this. ūüėÄ

Okay, that’s enough for today- I’m starting to feel like one of those newspaper columnists who go all preachy and start doling out advice. Oh me Gah, I’m becoming a Mrs. :-O


Posted in marriage, nerds and jocks, Q & A Specs, The Wedding | 32 Comments

Enter: Real Life- A day in my life

Wow @ the questions on the previous post– talk about variety! Well, here we go then.

Shawna asked me to describe a day in my new life.

I just have a word of caution- don’t judge me. I promise I’ll live a healthier life. Someday.

3:00 am Mr Specs calls- this usually lasts till 4:00 am or so. He’s in London and we have a 4 hour time difference so, I decided this time was better than starting to talk at midnight and continuing till the morning. That’s … unhealthier.

4:00 Fajr prayers

4:30-6:30 Study for CFA exam (its half a month away)

6:30-7:00 Get ready for office… ¬†putting on eyeliner perfectly takes time, dammit.

7:30 At office. Matt needs to be dropped off to school by 7:45 and my office is the first thing in line, so when my Mum does the pick/drop, I have to get to office by 7:30 so he can make it in time. Insane.

Rest of the morning: Spend reading legalese and fighting with in-house lawyers over interpretation of terms. Spend 2 hours explaining to a genius why he can’t put a certain clause in his document just because everyone else did it- their investments were different, genius. Have a tiff over his portfolio composition. He sends me off on a tangent about unrealized gains in Income Funds and Balance Sheets being different and blah blah blah… stop him right there. Schedule appointment with our Chartered Accountant so he can put it into simple terms for me.

1:00 pm Break time… these days I’m usually working through it. And no, I don’t eat.

2:00 pm Attend meeting and listen to boss shout at me about not wrapping a case up.

Boss, he wants that clause in there.

Specs, tell him if he wants a proper document, that clause will NOT be there.

Er, what did I spend all my morning doing, boss?! He won’t listen!!!

*boss calls up genius*

Genius says ‘Okay’ right off the bat. Boss shoots me a ‘look’. I curse genius- he’s just biased and doesn’t like my voice.

Go meet Chartered Accountant. He’s more confused than me. Hurray.

Attend meeting about a fraud case that I wasn’t involved in… by involved, I mean…I wasn’t the¬†investigator¬†or the one of the¬†affected, so why do I have to sit through this?! Its horribly complicated but I learn new ways of financial fraud. Boss tells me this is a once-a-life-time case. If its that, why’d you make me sit through it- it wasn’t likely to come up again in my life. Wasted time. Urgh.

6:30 pm Start packing up. Commute home.

7:30 pm Get home. Have tea (no sugar) and collapse onto bed. Plud in iPod and read up on CFA Exam Material. I leave the mathematics for the morning and the theory for right now.

9:00 pm Everyone gathers in my room for a sibling chit-chat session.

10:00 pm Hit the sack

2:55 am *Alarm*

3:00 am Oh wait, here’s Mr Specs calling. He actually puts the phone down if I don’t pick it up by the second ring. Too much consideration- erm, not good. The story I’ve told him is that I go to sleep at 7:00 and wake up at this time to study. Otherwise, he just doesn’t call at ALL so as not to ‘disturb me’… like, REALLY.

Mr. Specs and I spend time discussing my latest research project and he comes up with good ideas. We discuss some possible investments. Exchange the day’s details. He asks me if I’ve quit the gym for good… am I getting lazy, hehe. Er, not funny… Oh.

There you go. A day in my life.

Did I mention the in-laws live 300 kms away and I go there on Saturdays and come back on Sundays? No? Oh well, now you know.

I have an interesting life. I haven’t watched The Big Bang Theory in ages and I don’t remember what my family looks like… and I’m not sure what is worse.

I HAVE, however, lost 12 pounds in the last month. Yay.

And don’t you dare call me boring.

Posted in marriage, personal, Q & A Specs, rishta, Specy, The Wedding | 34 Comments

Enter: Real Life

The comments on the last post made me realize, Gawd, I haven’t really told you guys anything about what marriage looks like from Behind My Specs. I’m at a loss here so … how about leaving me some questions? Ask me!
I’ll answer them even if anonymous but I’d like to know some names if you can.
How’s that? I don’t often invite probes into my personal life but oh-the-well. Can’t think of anything else.
Meanwhile, Matt dearest has taken to stalking Mr. Specs- Facebook, chat, texts… you name it, he’s there. I swear if I have to sit through one more video chat about exhaust pipes and circuit breakers, something’s gonna get broken and its not MY head I’m talking about. Hrpmh.
Posted in Dear Diary, marriage, Specy, The Wedding | 28 Comments

This Is How It Is …

Mr. Specs *looks up from laptop*: You were looking nice that day

Specs *looks up from novel* : What day?

Mr. Specs: On our wedding day …

Specs: Uh Huh *goes back to book*

*5 mins* *insert realization*

Specs: You didn’t say it then …

Mr. Specs: Er, did I need to? I mean, you were the bride. OF COURSE you were looking good.

Ah. Yes. Well.

Posted in Humor, marriage, The Wedding | Tagged , , , | 51 Comments

The rest of my life …

Its strangely…. normal.

The wedding was… fantastic.

I was in office till 18 hours before the wedding. I bought the shoes while en route to the parlor. I was late for my appointment, of course. Then I left the shoes in the car.  My pen slipped while signing the papers because it was a brand I never use- its really hard to write with. Why didnt anyone think of this before?!? Ah details! 

But then … everything fell into¬†place at the right time and went the way we wanted it to… more or less. No extra frills, no extra traditions… and no fake posey photoshoot.¬†

I feel like I’ve been married forever.

Boring, or what! Heh hehehe…

AlHamduLillah …

Posted in marriage | 131 Comments

TOW The Wedding Dress

Characters:

M- brother, 18

Matt- brother, 12

A-sister, 16

Specs

Specs’ Mum

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Scene: The Specs Family Living Room- Specs has tried on her wedding dress’ shirt and is asking for public opinion on if it fits right


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M: You know I really don’t ever interfere in matters that are none of my business …

Me: Okay …

M: But this is your wedding we’re talking about …

Me: Okay….

M: This shirt doesn’t go with this trouser that well … you’re gonna wear this at your wedding, right?

Me: Ah… yes

M: The trouser’s too plain. And the black kinda kills the red.

Matt: Yes, it looks awful

A: No, it looks fine to ME. That’s how its worn. You don’t know anything about fashion- you’re… BOYS.

M: It doesn’t look NICE!! It looks .. too plain. But its Specs’ wedding… her choice *shrug*

Mum: *Enters in a hurry* Oh, Thank God you tried on the shirt. Does it fit right? Now you wanna try on the lehnga (skirt) as well?

M: Oh, there’s something else with this? Not these pants.

Me: No…

M: Oh.

A: *snicker*snort* You thought she was wearing plain black pants with this short shirt *rolls on floor laughing*

M: *gets pissed and he and Matt get up to leave* This is why I never tell you girls anything. You always make fun of us!

Matt and M get up and leave in a huff

Mum: What’s biting these two? *confused*

Me: Dunno.

Posted in Family, The Wedding | 64 Comments